Shairbearg’s Blog

The Journey of a Lifetime

Posted on: May 31, 2010

When I was a teenager, I had 3 BFFs. They just happened to be members of the same family, 2 brothers and a sister. I moved in with them and their parents when I was 18.

At that point, I started hanging out with their other friends on a regular basis. One of their friends was J. and he was dating my friend Jessica at the time. I was dating B at the time.

Well after B and I broke up, I heard that him and Jessica had broken up at the same time. I thought he was super cute and all, but would never date my friend’s X.

Well one day, Jessica came over and told me that she could tell J thought I was cute, and that I clearly liked him too, so she would set us up. But I told her I couldn’t do that to her, she thought that was silly.

Next thing I know, he was calling me for different things, and we were scheduling youth events, but only if the other was there.

We started dating while I was away working at a summer camp, and it was long distance. Every one kept telling me it wouldn’t last past the summer, because summer romances very rarely do.

We dated for 2 years, and then realized we both had a lot of growing up to do and were in very different places. He was just finished College, and wanting to work on his career, and I hadn’t went to College and really wanted to get married and start a family. We broke up. Although, we were still best friends and hung out all the time when he was home.

After 9 months, we realized we were really still in love, and that eventually we would get married.  I just had to be patient…..well it was 7 more years!  Boy, do I have patience LOL!  We got married on May 31, 2003.

Since getting married, our life has been fairly good although we have had some bad things happen. 

One such event was 2005, when we decided to try to have  our first baby.  We got pregnant right away, but miscarried at 9 weeks.  That was a really rough time for us, as no one in our families had ever been through it at that point, so we didn’t know how to handle it, neither did they.  We fought quite a bit at that time, and I wondered if we would get through it.  Well we did, and not 3 months later we were pregnant with Jack.  Since then, 2 more boys would follow.

We will both be 35 this year, and although our life is not exactly as I “saw” it when I was 18, it is an adventure that I am enjoying.  I couldn’t imagine sharing my life with anyone else.

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4 Responses to "The Journey of a Lifetime"

I love this story of how you and J. got together. And yes, you are a very patient woman! I guess that has stood you in good stead now that you are the mother of 3 boys and probably need every shred of patience you have. : )

ha ha that is what I was thinking. Someone once told me to get patience you aren’t just given it, you gain it through trials and waiting. Well I guess this journey was my patience building base, and having 3 boys is building more patience.

It’s funny how life takes all those twists and turns that you never expect. And it leads you to things you never would have thought would happen. I just turned 35, and life hasn’t gone the way I thought it would either years ago. But I wouldn’t change it for the world.

One of my fav songs is The Dance by Garth Brooks, and it talks about how if we knew how things would go we might change something but we would miss The Dance along the way. I always think there are moments in my life that I might have wanted to skip, but they make me who I am now. We waited a long time to get married, but we were in a decent place financially when we got married b/c of my hubby. In 7 years, we have only argued about money a few times and it is always me not wanting to buy something that I would like to just because I don’t want to waste the money and him telling to just buy the thing and leave him alone! ha ha

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